Violence and Smiles
by mindslip
Summary: Sasuke and Naruto are handcuffed together. It goes about as well as you'd expect it would.
1. Rude Awakening

Naruto's eyes were closed, yet the dark seemed to have movement. A nauseating, endless spin that seemed to be sucking his organs into a spiral. He groaned, his forehead beading with sweat as he tried to wrench his eyes open. Sunlight tore through the small seam he had managed to make between his eyelids and fresh, blinding pain seared through him. "Holy fuck," he mumbled thickly, then rolled over to throw up.

After several heaves, his eyes slowly opened and took in the view of a tied purple knot covered in vomit. What the-- Sasuke?!

Now fully awake, he shot upward to take in his surroundings. He was sitting on the ground next to an unconscious Sasuke surrounded by mounds of ominous smelling trash. More like hills really, stretching up into the sky with dark jagged shadows looming beneath them.

Naruto scratched his head with a jingle. They seemed to be in some sort of disposal area. Wait, jingle? He lifted his wrist and gazed incredulously at the handcuff fastened tightly around it. He shifted and watched as the chain glittered and led his eyes to where they were connected. To Sasuke.

"What in the blue fuck is going on here?" He succeeded in standing, which lifted Sasuke's arm off the ground due to the shortness of the chain. The bastard was still out like a light, campaigning to be coma patient of the month. Naruto rubbed his still-throbbing head with his free hand and tried to think. Last thing that happened...

.

_"I'm going to bring you home, Sasuke-teme!" I was shouting, shuriken flashing out of my hands and soaring after a very agile black-eyed ninja. Trees whipped by as I followed in close pursuit, Sasuke just a blur of motion in front of me. "All you ever do is run away!" I added, hoping to goad him into a more progressive battle. _

_There was barely enough time to react before the space I had just been in filled with a roar of fire. Pulling out a kunai in mid-flip, I manage to feint an instantaneous and almost invisible attack. Sparks shattered the air from the repetitively clashing daggers and---_

_._

"Ow, ow, ow!" He grouched, massaging his temples. Revisiting those recent memories had started a dull ache that gradually built into a nerve-sizzling pain in his head. What had happened? Where were they?

"Naruto."

Shocked, he looked down to see that Sasuke had rolled onto his back and his eyes were in slits that did not look happy.

"Naruto... You have exactly ten seconds to tell me why I am handcuffed to you," he grated out through clenched teeth, "...and where I am."

"Don't command me, teme!" Naruto spat out defiantly, even though his blood had slightly iced over from the pure undiluted evil intent in the other man's words. "And even if I did know the answer to either of those questions, I wouldn't tell you now."

Sasuke pulled himself upright into a sitting position and looked around mutely. He was looking rough, parts of his arms and neck looked burned and his yukata was rent with slashes and coppery with blood. A black bruise looked like it was swelling on his jaw, and Naruto could see several thick cuts across his chest that disappeared further beneath the neckline of his clothing.

"You don't know," Sasuke repeated murderously.

"I don't," Naruto confirmed dejectedly. Then he perked up, " You look like shit, Sasuke."

Black eyes flashed over to glare heatedly. "Imbecile, you obviously haven't seen a mirror."

Naruto chuckled and grinned, running a hand through his blonde spikes. "Same old teme," he laughed. "Just a more adult, fucked up version though," he added thoughtfully.

Sasuke's eyes narrowed, his impassive face stone-still except for a slight twitch of his eyebrow. "I have no time for your bullshit bantering, Naruto. I'm going to remove this nuisance," he lifted the wrist that was handcuffed, "and leave this place."

"Fine, be my guest getting rid of the handcuffs, but you're insane if you think I'm going to just let you walk away after everything that's happened!" Naruto snapped, crossing his arms and glaring at the black haired man.

"Everything that's... happened?" He echoed, his brow furrowing as if trying to recall something, then his expression dissolved into quickly disguised pain.

"You can't remember either?" Naruto asked, surprised. "I mean, it's pretty obvious some epic-ness happened, judging from the condition we're both in. But I can't remember..."

"No matter. I will remove this absurd handcuff and be on my way," Sasuke said cooly, raising his chained and free hand to form several hand signs in quick succession. There was a quiet rustle, then the large pointed head of a snake emerged from the sleeve of his yukata to coil around his arm as it emerged. "Remove my bonds," he commanded.

Naruto shivered in disgust at seeing the enormous snake wrapping itself around his former best friend, and backed up until the chain was taut between them. "You let that thing in your clothes?" He questioned shrilly, tugging slightly on the chain to get optimum separation from Sasuke and his scaly compadre.

Sasuke looked over coldly. "It is a necessary part of this specific summoning jutsu."

Naruto snorted. "Sure. Necessary."

Deciding not to humor Naruto further, Sasuke turned his attention back to the snake that was slowly assessing the chain of the handcuffs. It then opened its mouth to reveal wicked fangs that reeked of poison, and small droplets of said poison beaded at the end of the fangs, then dripped onto the metal of the handcuffs. The poison hissed as it connected, and small curls of vapor rose.

"Cool!" Naruto exclaimed, ever-appreciative of another ninja's abilities. There was a long moment where they both stood, watching as a strong acidic poison was dripped and dripped...

"Uh, but it doesn't really look like it's doing anything," Naruto added doubtfully. "Oh wait...! Yeah, no. Thought I saw something for a second... but yeah, definitely not working."

Sasuke's eyebrow quirked irritably again. "Is your poison at full potency?" Sasuke asked the snake.

It hissed, and Sasuke seemed to take that as an affirmative. "You're dismissed."

The snake retracted back into the sleeve it had come from, it's sinuous coils first, then its large deadly head. A black gold-flecked eye seemed to watch Naruto before it fully disappeared.

Sasuke looked like he had a horrible taste in his mouth. "These are chakra-enforced. The kind Anbu use on Class A criminals or rogues. It's nearly impossible to get them off without a key."

"Without..." Naruto's arms drifted down to his sides from where they had been crossed, and his blue eyes were wide. "Fine, let's try this my way."

Sasuke's eyes widened. "Don't even think about it," he said sharply.

"Too late!" Naruto proclaimed cheerfully, his hands already blurring through the hand signs.

The dark-haired ninja hissed angrily, attempting unsuccessfully to yank his arm away as a clone popped into existence beside its creator and began building up chakra in his open palm.

"Hold still, Sasuke," Naruto warned as a ball of condensed, spinning chakra came to life in his hand. "RASENGAN!"

With a dangerous whirring sound, the turbulent chakra was slammed into the links of the handcuffs. White light shattered out from the contact point, blinding both ninjas as the rasengan wreaked havoc. They could feel the sharp bite of the edges of the wind as it lanced out around the handcuffs, cutting clothes, skin, and dirt alike.

"Stop you idiot!" Sasuke shouted. "We're going to lose our hands!"

Naruto's eyes were clenched shut from the violent wind and light, but he managed to yank his free arm back and dispel the jutsu. The roaring wind carrying dirt and debris died down, and Naruto opened his eyes to see a pissed Sasuke and an intact handcuff. The earth beneath the handcuff was scarred with slashes that created a neat crater into the ground, and his orange sleeve was tattered along with the sleeve of Sasuke's haori.

"Really?!" Naruto asked, lifting up the handcuff to inspect it. "You've got to be kidding me. It didn't do anything."

"You think?" Sasuke snapped, his black eyes full of malice. "You almost severed both our hands off. I had forgotten how much of an _idiot _you are."

Naruto puffed up defensively. "Hey! Your snake plan didn't work either, asshole!"

"Hmpf. At least my plan didn't have potential for fatal blood-loss."

"That snake could have _bitten _me!"

"All the more reason for it."

Naruto was standing, his free hand pointed angrily at Sasuke, his mouth open with a yell building in his throat, when he suddenly stopped. A smile quirked the edges of his lips, then he began laughing. It was a real, happy laugh that had him bent over chuckling, his blue eyes sparkling through the grime and blood smeared on his face.

"What?" Sasuke growled, looking disgruntled.

Naruto grinned. "Things really haven't changed, eh teme?"

"Of course they have," Sasuke deadpanned, his body language stiff and angry. "Now enough with your nostalgia. Either you shut up or I'll slice off your hand and be free of you."

Naruto rolled his eyes. "Whatever, asshole. Where are we anyways?"

They took that moment to absorb their surroundings. Naruto's earlier thoughts of it being a disposal area seemed correct. All around them were enormous, looming piles of trash that cut off areas of the sky because of their height. The air was heavy with the scent of rot and mildew, plus an unidentifiable _horrible _smell that seemed to be coming from all directions.

Naruto bent down and picked up a container that was crumpled at his feet. He wrinkled his nose as a brackish substance poured out as he turned it in his hands. "What _is_ this?" He asked, puzzled. "I've never even heard of this brand. It's like alien food."

"Alien food," Sasuke repeated incredulously. "You should hear yourself right now."

"No, really." Naruto dropped the strange package on the ground, his face contorted with confusion. "Where _are_ we?"

"Come on," Sasuke said, yanking aggressively on the handcuff so Naruto stumbled after him as he started walking. "Let's get on top of one of these piles and look from there."

Naruto scowled as he followed grudgingly. "Don't pull me like that, asshole," he griped. "I'm not a dog."

Sasuke didn't answer as he began climbing up the pile of refuse in front of him. His steps were determined and quick, and Naruto tripped clumsily after him.

"Eww," Naruto grumbled as they trudged up the steep piles of trash. "This is disgusting." Something wet oozed onto his exposed toes through his sandals, and he bit his lip to contain a manly shriek. Looking over at Sasuke, he saw that the pale man had a similar expression of horror on his face. Trash slid and crunched underfoot as they climbed, both stumbling occasionally from being uncoordinated with the handcuffs connecting them.

Then, with a sigh of relief, they reached the apex of the hill, which was slightly flattened and suitable for standing.

Naruto looked around with interest at the sight before him. He had been right; they were in the middle of some sort of dump site. Spanning out from the pile they were standing on were other towering mounds of trash, and beyond that was a fence topped with curls of barbed wire. In the distance, he could barely make out what looked like a town. He frowned and scratched his head.

"Does any of this look familiar to you, teme?" Naruto asked, looking sideways at the silent ninja.

Sasuke's dark eyes were scanning the scenery, his lips twisted down in a scowl. "No."

Naruto tilted his head and scratched under his chin, his gaze thoughtful. "How did we end up here anyways? I mean, someone must have handcuffed and ditched us."

"Maybe," Sasuke answered. Then, quietly he added, "It's so flat. Where is the forest? The hills?"

"Ehhh?" Naruto looked, peering past the high metal fence encircling the dump they were in. A road snaked its way towards the town settled near the horizon, and the land around it was a flat expanse of yellow-green grass. It wasn't anything like the area they had been in last, which Naruto vaguely remembered as being on the edge of the Sound territory. "You're right. Weird."

Sasuke turned to look at Naruto, his face extremely serious. "You can't remember anything? Not even the smallest detail?"

Naruto rubbed his head, his eyes squinting as he concentrated. "I remember fighting you... it's in flashes, but I remember going past trees and there was fire--" He hissed, shaking his head as pain splintered with white-hot intensity behind his eyes. "Ow, fuck."

"The fire was my Gōkakyū no Jutsu," Sasuke said matter-of-factly. "I remember that. There's also other parts, but they're so muddled..." He looked frustrated.

"Trying to remember is a bitch," Naruto complained, rubbing his forehead with a wince. "Plus, I'm hungry. We should go to that town, get food, and find out where we are." He wrinkled his nose. "A shower wouldn't be horrible either."

"Stop whining," Sasuke snapped. "We can't just waltz into that town without investigating first. There's also the fact that we look like we just got mauled; we'll draw too much attention."

"Oh, so what do you suggest we do? Stay in this place and live off trash?" Naruto crossed his arms, off-balancing Sasuke with the sudden tug of the chain.

"No," Sasuke said slowly, "we wait until nightfall. _Then_ we can go."

"That's in forever!" Naruto cried in distress, dramatically throwing his arms up in the air as he yelled. Sasuke's arm was also lifted with the gesture, and his black eyes narrowed.

"It's in an hour or so, judging from the sun. And_ stop_ flailing around like that."

"I am not '_flailing_'."

Sasuke looked like he honestly wanted to kill someone. "You're pulling my arm around with whatever verb you choose. Just stop it."

"How 'bout you stop commanding me around?" Naruto gave the handcuff chain a purposeful yank, causing Sasuke to step forward and catch himself. "You're such a pretentious jerk, do you know that? We're both stuck here, chained together, so you should just get over your little bitch-fit and play nice. This holier-than-thou act is getting old. "

"Maybe," Sasuke started, yanking on the handcuff so Naruto would stumble, "it's because you haven't matured a day since you turned twelve."

"Oh, really? I can't say that stick in your ass has gotten any better either, snake molester." He spit out the last word, and accented it with another pull on the handcuff.

"Snake molester? So childish, idiot." Sasuke yanked harshly on the handcuff, but this time Naruto was prepared and dug his feet in. What this created was a kind of twisted tug o' war that had them both pulling back, the chain taut between them.

"Stop pulling, dobe," Sasuke growled; his muscles flexing at the strain.

"No way! I'm not giving up, and I'm _definitely _not doing what you tell me."

Their eyes locked, glares matching. Sasuke looked prepared to rip off a pair of eyelids, and Naruto was dead-set on not losing.

"Who's being childish now?" Naruto taunted, leaning back on his heels and pulling. The metal cuff around his wrist bit painfully into his skin, and he winced. His hand was turning a charming shade of purple.

Sasuke was in a similar position on the other side of the trash mound they were standing on, his brow furrowed with anger. "I may actually kill you," he said conversationally.

Naruto rolled his eyes. "Isn't this a wonderful way to reunite? Death threats and handcuffs; It's pretty much a party."

"Reunite?" Sasuke scoffed. "I wouldn't call this bullshit 'reuniting_', _it's more like _forced company_."

"Huh, interesting. Well, you wanna know something?"

Naruto's only answer was a cold stare.

"Ya know that purple rope thing you wear?" A large shit-eating grin spread across the blonde's face, and his eyes sparkled with mischief.

Sasuke's eyes narrowed suspiciously. "What about it."

Naruto giggled with mirth. "Yeah, I vomited _all_ over it."

Sasuke's eyes widened partially, and he turned his head ever-so-slowly to the side, peering down at the rope wrapped around his waist.

Naruto snorted with laughter, a laugh building to epic proportions in his chest as he watched Sasuke's face morph from stricken, to disgusted, to...

Naruto's smile faded slowly away, and the laugh that was building in his throat died along with it. He watched with alarm as black eyes snapped to red, and Sasuke's face collapsed into pure anger.

He wondered momentarily if he had gone too far. It wasn't like he had _meant _to throw up on the stupid bastard, he had been suffering from head trauma after all. Plus, that rope thing was pretty unnecessary. It was just like a belt right? No big deal. Naruto swallowed nervously. Even still, evoking the sharingan never brings sunshine and puppies in the first place, but putting those eyes in the hands of a pissed-off Uchiha can leave a person with missing limbs.

"You're _laughing_ because you defiled my clothes? You think that's funny?"

Naruto recoiled a bit on the inside. The tone of Sasuke's voice was cold, dark, and dripping with menace. "Just a little," he said stupidly.

"I'm here, handcuffed to you, an incompetent moron, without any idea of where I am. But is that all?" The sharingan seemed to blaze, and the pull on the handcuff intensified. "No. I'm in a fucking _dump _of all places, covered in vomit. YOUR vomit."

"So that automatically makes this whole situation my fault?" Naruto asked indignantly. "And why don't you stop being a little girl? It's just some---"

Sasuke pulled back his free arm, and punched him, successfully shutting him up. It connected solidly on Naruto's right jaw, and despite himself he stumbled backwards. His foot dropped into empty space, and blue eyes widened comically.

Naruto then found himself in a brief moment of confusion and zero-gravity before he realized that he was in a dangerous diagonal position over the edge, and yes, he was going to fall. His arms attempted a sort of windmill action to gain his balance, but being chained to the asshole ninja that had helped him fall in the first place didn't really help.

It was a quick, jumbled fall down the hill of trash that jabbed and oozed beneath his tumbling body. Distantly, he could sense his arm dragging something, but his thoughts were a _little _distracted as he slammed onto the ground flat on his back, knocking his breath out with an "oof". Hardly a second later, before he even had the chance to suck in a ragged piece of air and open his eyes, a weight thudded bone-crushingly on his chest.

His eyes flashed open, bright with pain and surprise, to be greeted by the too-close proximity of Sasuke's face. Naruto blinked stupidly, his lungs still struggling to gulp in air with short wheezes. He could feel the lean muscle of the man on top of him, and could see the different hues of red laying behind the swirling pupils. It was strange and foreign being this close to Sasuke after so long, and he felt a random rush of heat go to his face.

"G-g-get OFF," Naruto coughed hoarsely, "I'm dying here!"

Sasuke's eyes narrowed, and suddenly a pale hand was curled around Naruto's throat. The dark-haired ninja had propped himself up with one hand, while the other choked off Naruto's windpipe. The rest of his body still laid flat against Naruto, his angled hips sharp as he moved.

"Naruto," Sasuke said flatly, his eyes full of ice.

Said ninja squirmed underneath him, his eyes wide as he made choking noises. His hands clenched the hand at his throat, fingers digging into pale flesh.

"Let's reach an understanding here. We are going into the village _after_ sundown." His hand squeezed even tighter. "And you will, by no means, _pull_ on the handcuff anymore. I don't have the time nor patience to deal with your childish behavior."

Sasuke released his choke hold, and Naruto dragged in a rough gasp of air.

"You asshole!" Naruto sputtered out, his eyes livid with anger and embarrassment. "Get the fuck off me!" He shoved Sasuke off and was on his feet in seconds. Sasuke bounced quickly to his feet as well and stood rigidly. "I can't believe you punched and choked me over that," he hissed disbelievingly. "Oh, I am _so _going to---"

"Who's there?"

Both ninjas spun around in surprise, legs tensed to either fight or flee. Their arguing and rough fighting had distracted the two of them, and Naruto berated himself for not sensing a presence approaching them. What he found when he turned didn't appear to be very threatening though, so he just stared confusedly at the scruffy man standing not 10 feet away.

The man was short, balding, and overweight. He wore a faded green uniform streaked with grime, and shoes that must have at one time been white, but were now gray and leathery like elephant hide. A patchy, bristly beard covered most of his face, but it didn't hide his suspicious eyes and hard-set mouth.

"What the hell are you two kids doing?" The man asked disbelievingly. "How did you get in here?"

Naruto gaped at the man, startled into silence. "Uhh--"

A crackle of static caused both Sasuke and Naruto to jump, and the man reached to his hip and pulled out a walkie-talkie which was spouting something unintelligible in squawks. "Repeat that?" The man asked gruffly, his eyes never leaving the pair.

He twisted a knob and the voice came through clearer. _"Find the noise disturbance?"_

"Yeah, Pete. Just some kids." The scruffy man's eyes ran over the two and he added, "Might be gang activity. Send some of the guys over."

_"Roger._"

He clipped the walkie-talkie back to his belt, and turned back to Naruto and Sasuke.

Naruto stared at the stocky man, his jaw open most eloquently. Sasuke was no doubt glaring, he didn't have to look over to know. "Uh, old man, we don't really know how we got in here..." He trailed off, his palms open appeasingly. "We're kind of confused ourselves."

"Really." His tone was heavy with sarcasm. "So you just looked around, and suddenly--whoops! You're in the city dump? You scavenging for shit?"

Naruto puffed up a bit."What the fuck would I want in here? It's just a bunch of weird alien trash."

The uniformed man quirked an eyebrow at Naruto's reference to aliens.

"Naruto," Sasuke said, his voice quiet. "Let's get out of here. He called reinforcements."

The blonde rolled his eyes. "I would hardly call more of these guys 'reinforcements'. Don't tell me you're worried, _scaredy cat_."

Sasuke's gaze turned the temperature down to freezing. "I am not _scared," _he spat out in honest disgust. "Having a battle and drawing attention to ourselves in an unknown place is _stupid_, Naruto. We should leave now and stay hidden until we know more about our situation."

"A battle? Now wait a minute," the man said gruffly. "I don't know what planet you kids are from but--"

"I thought you wanted to stay here," Naruto said sarcastically, ignoring the scruffy man and continuing to talk to Sasuke. "I mean, you seemed enthusiastic enough that you _punched me in the face and strangled me_."

"Obviously, we can't stay here anymore because of that guy," Sasuke snapped, jerking his head to indicate the intruder.

"Hey!" Said intruder snarled, "Listen to me when I'm--"

"I don't know, you reeeeally wanted to stay earlier..." Naruto interrupted again, his tone heavy with sarcasm. He tapped his chin and acted falsely thoughtful, and cast a considering look over at the small man. "Well, actually, he does look kind of pissed off. And getting out of this dump _would_ be pretty fantastic."

Sasuke "Hmm"d in agreement. Or he was just making thoughtful sounds while thinking about ice cream or murder. It's hard to tell with him.

"Ha!" Naruto brightened considerably. "This is an indirect victory for Naruto! My whole plan was to leave here, and this weird man made it all happen!" He beamed.

The dump-watcher had turned an interesting shade of purple. "You think I'm gonna let the two of you waltz out of here?"

Naruto finally looked over at the man. "Actually, 'waltzing' isn't really our style. I'm more of a 'haul-ass' kinda guy."

"You talk too much," Sasuke grumbled from beside him. "Let's go."

"Okay, okay. Over the north fence?"

"Hmm."

The garbage man's face was puffy with anger, his eyes bulging. "You little shits, there's no way you're getting out... of... here."

The scruffy man trailed off, staring dumbly at the now vacant spot the two teenagers had been. Trash swirled lazily where they had been standing, then settled again. He swiveled around in confusion, catching a blurry glimpse of two figures soaring over the fence.

He continued to gaze dumbly, then scratched his head. "Gang activity. Definitely gang activity."

.

.

.

A/N: It was really fun writing this, and hopefully you enjoyed reading it as well! There will be more, including explanations for what's going on and all that good stuff.  
Oh, and there's this pretty awesome thing called "reviewing", which is basically where you make me incredibly happy. These reviews are like cocoa puffs for that crack bird. Or Icha Icha Paradise for Kakashi. They're tasty, and writer's love 'em. You should try it out, the link's about a centimeter under this ;)


	2. Strangers in a Strange Land

The sun was only a dim reminder in the sky as it sank into the horizon, the last splashes of its inevitable struggle with time still smeared across the clouds. The foreign village was a black silhouette cut out in front of the crimson landscape, the tops of the boxy buildings fading into the deep purple of the oncoming night. Sasuke and Naruto slipped silently in a crouch through the tall, unkempt grass towards the distant mystery buildings… Well, they were almost silent.

"Will you stop swinging your arm? It's _jingling_," Sasuke bit out in a harsh whisper, one black eye peering irritably over to the side as they kept moving. He didn't have to say what was jingling, both of them were all too aware of the handcuff extended between them.

"I'm not swinging my arm," Naruto snapped back, not as quietly. "It's because you run like a fucking ostrich."

"I doubt you've ever even seen an ostrich, much less seen it run," Sasuke replied with a scoff, ducking his head slightly to stay more hidden in the grass.

"Well if I had it would be just like _you,_" Naruto grumped. "Pissy and running weird."

"You're a complete idiot."

"Don't get me started on what _you_ are," Naruto snapped back. "I would have to shave off the beard I'd grown by the time I got to the end of the list."

Sasuke rolled eyes heavy with contempt over at Naruto, the bastard not even breaking his stride. "Your vocabulary would be strained in the first minute," he replied smoothly, ever the artist of sarcasm.

"Whatever," the blonde snorted, unfazed. "Anyways, do you think that grungy old man is coming after us?"

"Why, are you concerned?" Sasuke smirked.

"Hell no! If he challenged me I could wipe the floor with him," Naruto declared, throwing punches in the air at an invisible opponent. This resulted in dragging Sasuke's arm along as well, and he was rewarded with an icy glare.

"Do you remember that discussion we had about excessive arm movements?" Sasuke snapped, jerking his arm back.

"Hmm, it's hard to remember. Maybe being strangled cut off blood circulation to my brain?" He swatted away some taller grass that was snagging on his murdered pants with his free hand, and threw a sarcastic look over at the dark haired ninja.

"There's never any blood circulation to your brain," Sasuke muttered.

"Shut up, asshole!"

Sasuke ignored him, his soft footsteps the only whisper of a response. Naruto would never admit it, especially after his ostrich comment, but the other man glided along like a panther. He was all liquid movements, velvet touches, and glinting predatory eyes. Nothing about him would encourage the image of an awkward bird.

Naruto smirked. Okay, maybe he wished Sasuke was more like a clumsy bird than a jungle cat. Maybe then he would have had a chance of getting some cool points from the village or maybe even attracting Sakura when they were little. His smile faltered a bit. Probably not.

But that's why he was getting stronger, right? To save and surpass his friend, to become Hokage… It would be wrong, no, he would be _disappointed_ if Sasuke was less of a challenge. Naruto softened his footsteps and crouched lower into the grass as they padded along towards the village. He definitely wasn't going to let Sasuke show him up.

It was then that the dark-haired ninja decided to stop in his tracks, and Naruto tripped and lurched forward in a very ungraceful way.

"Hey, teme! Watch where you're—"

Sasuke slapped his hand over Naruto's mouth, successfully shutting him up in an instant.

"Get down." It was a quiet order, almost without any inflection or urgency, but Naruto dropped into a crouch next to Sasuke instantly. The area around them was empty, filled only with pockets of darkness from the setting sun. The evening breeze made the tall grass sway with hushed noises, but there didn't seem to be a threat.

"What is it?" Naruto whispered, his voice so low it was barely audible over the wind.

"I hear something," Sasuke murmured.

Naruto glanced over at the other ninja and saw red eyes in the dimming light, the black pupils pin wheeling as they focused on something in the distance. Now that he mentioned it, Naruto could hear it too. It was like a dull growling sound, getting closer.

"What is it?"

"Shhh," Sasuke hissed, reaching over and pushing the blonde's head down more. "It's some sort of machine."

"Like a weapon?" Naruto asked in a hushed voice from his crouched position next to Sasuke. Shuriken flicked into his fingers like cards to a magician's hand, and he balanced them between his knuckles so metal and flesh seemed woven together.

Sasuke remained silent, his red eyes prying into the quickly dimming evening. "It's moving fast." Was his only cryptic response.

"Oh, great," Naruto grumbled. A bead of sweat slid down his temple, and his fingers tightened around the shuriken.

Then, in the distance, two bright lights erupted in the darkness as something rounded a curve and came into view. It was traveling so quickly that Naruto could hear the whine of wind soaring around it, but the lights in the front managed to blur whatever the actual structure of the thing was.

"What the..." Naruto whispered in wonder, his eyes reflecting the beams of light as they soared closer. It was following a path that cut through the grassy fields they'd been trekking about 100 meters in front of them. They probably would have stumbled onto it eventually, but the lights from the mysterious thing illuminated it now, clear as day.

Naruto glanced over at Sasuke, who was just as fixated on it as him, yet his mouth was set in a grim line.

With a growl, the thing whizzed by them on the road up ahead. Without the lights blinding them, they were offered a flash of gleaming metal, glass, and blurred wheels before it had already passed them on its speedy voyage. Two red lights glared at them now as it tore away, blazing like demon's eyes.

They waited in their crouched, tense positions until the two ominous red lights disappeared into the distance. It was suddenly very quiet. The grass seemed to roar as the wind gently caressed it, and Naruto could hear his own breath shuddering in his ears.

Slowly, the two ninja straightened. Then Naruto stated quite simply: "Aliens."

Sasuke shook his head in silence, his face stone still.

"No, seriously. Aliens!" Naruto exclaimed, turning to look at Sasuke with a horrified expression. "We've been taken to another planet! They're going to take us apart and run us through machines, and the probe... oh shit. Anal probing! There's no way I can deal with that--"

"Naruto, shut the hell up. You're giving me a headache," Sasuke sighed, massaging his forehead.

"No, listen!" Naruto turned abruptly, grasping the other ninja by the shoulders. His voice was steadily rising as some sort of illogical panic set in. "There's two things that just don't mix with me. One of them is ghosts, and the other one is aliens!"

Sasuke swept Naruto's hands off his shoulders and rolled his eyes. "There's no such thing as aliens. Also, the guy from the dump was obviously human."

"Humans here could be enslaved to the aliens," Naruto said defensively.

"Just drop the alien idea. Honestly, you're giving me a headache. Listening to you being frantic is like conversing with an autistic blender," he responded darkly, once again rubbing his temples.

"That is completely untrue... but I applaud your creativity on that one."

"Come on, let's go see what we can find out," Sasuke said, then began walking again towards the path the strange machine had been on.

Naruto followed, his arm stretched out in front of him as Sasuke led. "So if not aliens, how would you explain what we just saw?" He asked the back of Sasuke's spiky head.

The soft shuffling sound of feet was his only response as Sasuke stayed silent, then he said, "I have theories."

"Like what?"

A slight shrug from the shoulders in front of him. "It could be genjutsu. Or our memories may have been tampered with."

"Tampered with how? I can remember everything clearly except for what happened right before we got to this place."

"Maybe we _think_ we remember, but vital information may have been taken out. Like those machines, or people we should know but they've been removed from our memories so we can't get information or assistance."

"That... That's just confusing," Naruto said helplessly, scratching the back of his head. "Your logic is starting to look pretty weird compared to aliens."

Sasuke's only response was an exasperated sigh. "Just shut up."

Naruto fell into silence, his mind whirling with confusion. Sasuke's theory made no sense to him, mostly because he hadn't understood the explanation, but who would even do this to them? Who would package the two of them up and send them to this weird place? Aliens, strange machines, holes in his memories... It was all just a confusing clusterfuck.

A more alarming thought hit him, and he almost stopped walking. How were they supposed to get back if they were in some strange land? How would he get home to Konoha? What about Ichiraku ramen, his friends, his future?

A cold ball of fear began to grow in his chest, leeching out with icy tendrils to curl around his heart and slide up his throat. How fucked was he and Sasuke, really?

He came back from his disturbing thoughts as his foot hit solid ground, like rock. Glancing down in surprise he found himself on the road that machine had soared by on. It was gray and separated by segmented yellow lines that checkered on down the road as far as the eye could see.

Sasuke knelt on one knee beside Naruto, and the other ninja leaned down to compensate for the handcuff. "What is it?" Naruto asked.

"The road smells strange," Sasuke commented. "Chemicals... almost a burnt smell. Those machines must be on here frequently."

Naruto knelt down as well, testing the air with trained sniffs. "Hmm, you're right. It's like burnt ramen."

Sasuke looked over incredulously. "Even ramen that had collapsed into cinders wouldn't smell like this."

"Heh, shows how much you know about ramen. This one time I left my ramen to cook for almost _20 minutes_ on accident and--"

"Fascinating," Sasuke said dryly, "but this isn't the time for your stories."

"Whatever. You wouldn't have been able to appreciate the genius of extinguishing a mattress fire with a faucet hose anyways," Naruto grumbled.

"No I wouldn't have. And I'm eternally grateful that I didn't have to hear about how your mattress caught fire."

"Pshh, you know you're curious," Naruto grinned. "Anyways, aliens or not, we should check out that village. Or are you not done inhaling fumes yet?"

"I'm done," Sasuke responded, unfazed. He stood and brushed off his knees. "But I thought you were afraid of the aliens... _scaredy-cat_."

Naruto shrugged it off, even though one of his eyebrows twitched. The bastard knew how far that cut back into their childhood, and he was a bit surprised he even acknowledged those times. "You worried for me, teme?" Naruto said with a smirk, and watched with amusement as horror flashed across the other man's face.

"That is so horrendously off the mark it's not even funny," Sasuke growled. "Let's go."

Sasuke leapt into the night, ripping Naruto along behind him with a sharp yank of the handcuff. Naruto cursed darkly and strongly considered punching the other ninja in the spine as he sprinted to catch up.

* * *

Sakura bit her lip with anxiety, her eyes raw and scratchy from crying. She had been combing over the woods repeatedly, looking for anything, any kind of clue. So far there was nothing helpful, except the obvious. She tried to avoid looking at it, for something deep within her froze to chunks of ice at the sight of it.

"Stupid, stupid Naruto," she said angrily, forcing her nerves and fear into something far more useful. Like fury. Furious people didn't curl up into a ball and cry. Yet.

She leapt over several torn and splintered trees, a handful out of hundreds. All the while her green eyes spanned over the scenery, looking for anything. A thread of orange cloth, a headband, a finger... Sakura winced at the imagery and blocked away those thoughts.

Naruto couldn't die. Killing him is like trying to smash a beetle on carpet. He just takes the hits but miraculously appears unharmed. Even against Sasuke... right?

Other ninjas were scurrying over the rubble helping in the search for the blonde haired ninja, and Sakura avoided eye contact in fear of the pity she would see in the other ninjas' eyes. They had all been avoiding her, giving her space as she continued her search. No one had hope that they were alive. Not after seeing _that_ in the middle of this entire mess.

Sakura gritted her teeth, glad for her gloves as she tossed the splintered remains of a tree trunk out of the way. Fuck if she was going to give up without looking in every possible place. Two entire people didn't just _disappear_. Plus they were her team mates, even if one of them was really fucked up.

"Hey, watch where you're throwing trees," called a friendly voice, and Sakura turned to see the familiar silver-haired jounin.

"Sorry Kakashi-sensei," she said mildly, dusting off her hands briskly before turning around. "Has anyone found anything?"

Kakashi was balanced in a crouch on a slightly charred and broken tree branch, his palms resting on his bent knees. "Kind of. It's more disturbing than informative, though."

"Disturbing?" Sakura asked, trying not to sound alarmed.

The jounin shrugged. The action was care free yet his eyes were solemn. "That's the only word I could really use to describe it. You'll have to come see it for yourself."

"Lead the way," she said.

Kakashi climbed to his feet and began leaping over the mangled bodies of trees, Sakura keeping pace beside him.

"I had a feeling if those two ever fought they would carve a new landmark," Kakashi said conversationally, "and they sure did."

"Yeah," Sakura said weakly. The two of them had managed to level an entire section of forest with a diameter of over a mile. The destruction spread from a center point that Sakura had been deftly avoiding, but now they were heading straight for it.

"So wait, is this a clue to where they might be?" Sakura asked, leaping over a cluster of charred and broken trees.

"Not really, but it does raise some questions," Kakashi said uneasily. "It's over there." He pointed up ahead where Sakura could see several ninja circled around something. The small group was standing right at the edge of the center of the destruction, where the evidence of the almost inhuman battle was most apparent.

Like the bull's eye on a target, an expansive circular area was the center point of the destroyed forest. But unlike the scattered trees populating the rest of the wrecked land, this contact point was simply charred and blackened earth, wiped clean of any life. Ash swirled in ghostly clouds as the wind picked up, and Sakura shivered.

This is what she had been avoiding. This black, scabbed earth was the result of a ridiculous explosion; an explosion no one could survive. An explosion with enough heat and power to blast away the surroundings... and also completely eliminate a human being if they were caught in the middle of it. Completely eliminate. As in _gone without a trace_.

"Are you alright?"

Sakura glanced up sharply from where she had been staring at the pitted and blasted earth. Kakashi-sensei was looking at her intently, that somber light in his eyes returning.

"I-I'm fine," she said shakily. "Anyways, where's the thing you wanted to show me?"

"Over there." He pointed to where the congregation of ninjas were huddled. "You'll see it."

After casting a questioning and comprehensive glance over her shoulder at the jounin, she began to jog over to where he had pointed. Black ash smeared her toes and coated her sandals as she went.

As she drew closer she could see the center of their attention was the twisted remains of a tree trunk identical to the others scattered about the area. Her brow furrowed in confusion, but she continued to go forward until she had to edge around some of the ninja surrounding the destroyed tree.

Then she could see it, and she froze. Dread turned her body to stone, and locked her eyes wide open. Her heart thudded painfully in her chest, pumping shards of ice into her lungs so it was hard to breath. No. No way. What... What did this mean? She was shaken to the core, a new level of terror and confusion building in her throat.

There, carved jaggedly into the trunk, was one word. It looked like it had been sliced into the wood by a kunai, the edges of the letters dragged out and hasty looking.

It read, "Goodbye."

* * *

"WHAD'YA MEAN WE CAN'T STAY HERE?!" Naruto pounded a fist on the counter, causing the sign reading "Check In" to bounce.

The inn clerk behind the counter looked alarmed, his eyes darting from side to side uneasily. "Um, sir, I'm going to have to ask you to lower your voice."

"Sorry," Naruto grumbled, "you seriously wouldn't believe the day I've had."

The clerk, whose name was "Collin" according to his name tag, didn't seem to doubt this statement in the least. In front of his normal, ordered desk stood two tattered and bloody men handcuffed together, one of them was banging on his desk, and the other one seemed ready to gouge out someone's eyeballs. Collin cleared his throat. He really didn't like the looks of the eyeball-gouger, he looked murderous.

"Um, listen sir, we really can't admit you right now..." Collin continued, his voice wavering slightly. "You don't have money..."

"But we do have money!" Naruto exclaimed, gesturing wildly to the scattered bills and coins piled on the desk. He and Sasuke had both had a small amount on them after a bit of searching, and now Gama, his frog wallet, was disturbing empty.

The clerk looked lost for words, his eyes darting back and forth again. "I've never seen any money like this before," he said, picking up a bill between two fingers. "I'm not even sure it's real..."

Naruto clutched his head in frustration, raking his fingers through his hair. "But it is!"

Sasuke stood beside Naruto in silence, his eyes switching between the clerk and the blonde as if he couldn't decide who to glower at. "Naruto, let me handle this," he said quietly, a deadly tone in his voice.

Collin paled behind his desk, looking very much like he wanted to disappear into his polo shirt and never return. "Listen, I really don't want to call security..."

"Then don't!" Naruto cried, ignoring Sasuke. "Listen, we can't go back out there. It's too... terrifying. Those alien machines, and all those people, and the-- No, no, we have to stay here. You don't know what we had to go through to even get this far!"

"...Alien machines?" Collin looked dumbfounded. "What planet are you from?" He muttered it quietly, but Naruto still heard.

The blonde's eyes widened, and he leaned closer to Collin over the desk. "Are you saying that space travel is normal here?"

"Um, no," Collin said, his shifty eyes now accompanied with him squirming in his seat. "I really do need to ask you guys to leave now."

"Naruto," Sasuke said, "let me talk to him."

"Fine!" Naruto snapped. "Do it _your_ way. This guy is like a fortress though, I don't know how we're going to convince--"

"Here's your room key," Collin said in a dazed voice out of nowhere, sliding a plastic rectangle over the desk. "Free of charge, enjoy your stay."

"--him." Naruto looked incredulously at the inn clerk, then back at Sasuke. In the small moment he looked at Sasuke he saw the blood red color of the sharingan slip back to black smoothly.

"Really," Naruto stated. "Fucking really. You could do that the entire time?"

"Hmm," he responded, reaching out to take the strange key from the desk.

"Why the hell did you wait so long?!"

"You were distracting him from making direct eye contact with me," he said calmly. He began walking in the direction of a door marked with a picture of stairs, and Naruto followed along.

"Whatever," Naruto grumbled. Then more quietly, he said, "I didn't know you could do that. I mean, control people with your eyes and stuff."

"Hmm."

"It's pretty cool," Naruto said, his voice a mixture of grudging admiration and envy. "I have some new tricks up my sleeve too, you know. Just for the record."

"I'm dying with curiosity," Sasuke replied sarcastically.

"I bet you are, secretly."

Sasuke ignored that comment and opened the door to the stairs. Cement steps painted green and chipping at the edges led up several flights, and Sasuke glanced at the card he held. "Says on here we have room 412, so I'm guessing that's the fourth floor."

"Yeah, yeah. Let's get going then," Naruto said, starting up the steps. His sandals scuffed over the pavement as he went, and that sound along with the clanking of the handcuff echoed eerily through the cement stairwell.

Four flights of stairs later and they emerged into a hallway that was painfully symmetrical and repetitive. The carpet was patterned with flowers perfectly aligned into diamond shapes that stretched on down the hallway, and the light fixtures were set in a neat row on the low ceiling.

Naruto looked in wonder at the place, his blue eyes wide enough to reflect the rows of doors lining the halls. "Man, I wonder who decorated this place. They must have had hardcore OCD."

Sasuke ignored him and stalked down the hallway, reading the numbers on the doors. "411, 412, 413... 414. This is it."

They stopped outside the door. Naruto scratched his head. "So, uh, how are we supposed to open this thing?"

Sasuke eyed the door, then the card thoughtfully. "I think I put it in here..." He pushed the card into a black box on the wall, then pulled it out. A red light flashed, and the box made an irritated beeping noise.

"Hey it did something!" Naruto pushed in closer, then looked at Sasuke. "Try it again."

He did, and the box repeated the same noise.

"It sounds pissed off," Naruto remarked. "I don't think you're doing it right."

"Shut up, Naruto." Sasuke grouched. He swiped the card again, and the light flashed red. He swiped it again, and again, and again.

"Try doing something different," Naruto supplied helpfully, and Sasuke threw him an Evil Look.

"I'm about to chidori this door," he said edgily, his voice never rising yet it still dripped anger.

"Flip it around the other way?"

He did, and after he slid the card through, a pleased beep followed along with a green light. Naruto pushed on the handle and the door swung open to the room, and they both walked in with a sigh of relief.

"Oh man, awesome. I never thought I'd be so happy to be in a room with a locked door," Naruto said. He felt along the wall and flicked on the light switch while behind him Sasuke locked and dead-bolted the door.

"I can't wait to take a shower and scrub all this grime off," Naruto continued. "The hot water will feel so..." he trailed off and his face wrinkled in confusion. "Wait, how will that work with, you know, _this_?" He pointed at the handcuff connecting him and Sasuke.

The other ninja just glared.

.

.

.

A/N: Usually I don't update so fast, so enjoy it while it lasts! I'm working on chapter 3 currently and hopefully it will be out in a human amount of time. Thanks for reading!

*cough*review*cough* ;)


	3. Unexpected Dumplings

The shower felt amazing, sensational even. Naruto scrubbed vanilla scented shampoo into his blood-flecked hair until it was thick and foamy, and basked in the almost searing heat of the water pelting his back. After his nice little jaunt in the dump he had noticed a strange, unpleasant smell trailing him (not Sasuke, but an actual odor) and it was invigorating to wash off the grime.

Well, almost. Maybe if there wasn't another man in the bathroom only about a foot away from his naked splendor he would feel more comfortable. Really, it wouldn't even be that big of a deal if he wasn't _attached _to said man via handcuff. Male ninjas on missions were usually comfortable being naked around each other, the situations called for it. Changing and bathing around each other was natural since there's not much room for privacy while on a team.

Having a thin plastic shower curtain printed with paisley flowers as a border was on a whole other level though. Especially when you can only bathe with one arm because you don't have much slack to work with due to a fucking _handcuff_. Honestly, what sadist had concocted the plan of chaining him and Sasuke together? When he got home someone would be on the receiving end of a swift kick to the nuts.

Naruto leaned his head back into the spray and let the blast of hot water wash away the shampoo and tried not to think about it. Instead, he examined the damage that his body had taken from the mystery event.

Black and purple bruises were already beginning to fade due to his impressive healing rate, but other more major injuries were lingering. An impressive slice from his left shoulder to his right hip was the most noticeable cut, and he would bet a bowl of ramen it was from Sasuke's stupid katana. It was healing nicely, though soap had caused it to sting furiously while he was washing off. More cuts were laced all over his body, some deeper than others, but they were hardly life threatening. The only truly painful thing he was suffering from was on his shoulder, and that was from a harsh burn that he would probably have to thank Sasuke-bastard for. Other than that it was all roses and daises compared to some of the other injuries he had suffered.

He squeezed some conditioner out of the small bottle onto his head and began methodically rubbing it in one-handed. What he wouldn't give to be able to use both his hands normally again. Seriously it was such a pain in the ass...

"Are you almost done in there or are you trying to suffocate me with steam?" _Speaking of pain in the ass. _

Naruto poked his head around the edge of the curtain to see Sasuke sitting on the lid of the toilet, cleaning his kunai with a damp towel.

Naruto noted with satisfaction that some of the water had run down the chain of the handcuff and was currently dripping on Sasuke's pants. Served the bastard right.

He ducked his head back behind the curtain and called in a falsely-confused voice, "What? More steam? Okay then, if you say so."

He nudged the heat of the water up a notch and allowed himself a satisfied grin as he began rinsing out the conditioner.

"What did you say, Naruto?" Sasuke said coldly from the other side of the curtain. "Throw your towel in the toilet? Is that what you said?"

"You better not!" Came the alarmed cry from the shower.

"Then get the hell out of there, you're worse than a girl."

"Whatever. I woke up in a fucking_ dump _today, I'm pretty sure I washed a banana peel out of my hair."

"Wouldn't surprise me. You smelled like a wet dog."

The water cut off and a very miffed Naruto stuck his head around the shower curtain again. "Can you hand me my towel?" He said, ignoring that last comment.

Sasuke wordlessly bent down and picked it off the floor, then proceeded to throw it at the tanned and dripping face. Naruto caught it before it connected, but he still shot the other a dirty look.

"You're such an asshole," he stated, but not with much feeling behind it. He wrapped the towel around his waist and stepped out of the shower, successfully dousing the cheap tile floor as he went. Sasuke grimaced and shifted his feet away from the quickly spreading puddle.

"It's all yours," Naruto said, gesturing to the shower.

Sasuke gave him a dark look and set the kunai he had been cleaning on the bathroom counter. Then with a side ways glance at the other ninja he drew back the shower curtain and stepped inside. Naruto hopped a bit to give him slack for the handcuff, then plopped down on the toilet seat. Man, life would be so much easier without the stupid chain connecting him to Sasuke.

There was rustling in the shower as Sasuke presumably began undressing, then proceeded to toss articles of clothing over the curtain and onto the dry surface of the sink. Naruto sighed and settled himself in for a wait, leaning his head back against the wall and closing his eyes as the sound of rushing water started.

It was strange, only a day or two ago Sasuke had been some unreachable prospect. There was always sightings, rumors, and false leads. Convincing the old hag Tsunade to set him loose after faint trails had been getting harder and harder, and it had begun to seem that he would only be able to find Sasuke when he wanted to be found. Yet now he was right here, found, literally a foot away, and Naruto wasn't even really sure _how_ they had met. Actually, he wasn't even sure what to do.

Sure, he had found Sasuke, but what now?

"Hey asshole," Naruto called conversationally to the shower curtain, "have you created some awesome return plan or anything yet? You know, for getting out of this weird place."

He was answered by the spattering of water hitting the shower floor, and Naruto rolled his eyes at Sasuke's expected silence.

"I'm fucking handcuffed to you so I know you're in there," the blonde persisted. "But seriously, any kind of return home plan?"

"How about you return to being quiet?" Sasuke snapped.

"Ooooh I'm so scared," Naruto said sarcastically. "I have your towel so I think you should carefully rethink that response."

A deep, angry sigh resonated inside the shower. "Naruto, I haven't thought of a goddamn plan. I don't even know where we _are_."

Well that was comforting. Naruto hadn't even begun to think of a plan, but usually the planning landed in other people's hands and he just proceeded with the kicking of enemy ass. Especially Sasuke, he was supposed to be the genius.

Naruto stretched lazily, trying not to wince as his still-healing injuries flared up. "So what should we do?"

Another long-suffering sigh came from behind the curtain. "Did I bother you while you were in the shower?"

The blonde rolled his eyes. "Who's the girl now?"

No response. Of course. Naruto sighed, growing bored already. He would really like to put on his pants, crawl into the strange bed in the other room, and fall into blissful unconsciousness. Maybe he would wake up in his own bed and it would all have just been some bizarre dream. He smiled slightly, leaning over to pick up one of Sasuke's kunai from the counter to twirl it in his free hand.

This all being a dream, well, it sounded nice. He could wake up in his own room tomorrow, throw open the window, and breath in the fresh air that so greatly contrasted the fume-laced air outside of the hotel. He could find Sakura-chan and tell her about the strange dream he had last night, and she would probably laugh and ask if he had eaten some bad sushi. Then he could go to Ichiraku Ramen and order the usual from the old man, leaning against the wooden counter that always still had swipe marks from when they cleaned it. A huge steaming bowl of ramen would be placed before him, and he could snap apart the chopsticks to---

The kunai slipped out of his fingers, clattering on the tile floor. He looked down in surprise, watching it wobble before gaining equilibrium and completely stilling. Sasuke's kunai. Sasuke.

If he really woke up tomorrow at home, then he would have never found Sasuke. The thought was exhausting. It dredged up memories of pointless chases, lost leads, and all the times he had returned home empty-handed. Yet at the same time he never asked to be _this_ goddamn close to the guy.

The water shut off suddenly, and a pale, dripping arm emerged around the shower curtain. "Towel," Sasuke demanded, and Naruto rolled his eyes at his tone.

"Yeah, yeah, hold on princess," Naruto grumbled, first grabbing the kunai off the floor, then reaching for the other towel nestled in safety from the soaked floors on the counter. He wasted no time chucking the towel at the other ninja, who caught it easily without blinking.

"Did you drop one of my kunai?" Sasuke asked, narrowing his eyes. "The floor is wet."

"So, because the floor is wet it means I dropped your kunai?"

"No, it means the floor is wet so you sure as hell have better not dropped it. I just cleaned those," Sasuke snapped, wrapping the towel around his waist behind the curtain before emerging. "Dumbass," he added as an afterthought.

"Well I didn't drop it." _I hope it rusts._

_._

_._

_._

* * *

.

.

.

After hastily changing into their torn and bloodied pants with their backs turned to each other, it was time to sleep. Which, inevitably, meant that the two of them would be handcuffed together lying side by side in a matter of minutes. Naruto quickly deemed the situation as _weird_, but decided not to linger on it. The faster he fell asleep, the faster he could work on getting home. It was a stale comfort, for he wasn't completely sure how he was going to accomplish this, but Naruto had always been an optimist.

"'Kay, let's get some shut-eye," the blonde exclaimed, forcing down the feeling of _weird _again. He glanced over at Sasuke, who looked prepared to vomit. "Don't look too excited," he added dryly.

Sasuke cast him a look that said he would very, very much like to gnaw off his arm and escape through the window.

"The sooner we go to sleep, the better," Naruto said, voicing his earlier thoughts. "We can wake up tomorrow and figure out all this bullshit."

The words only seemed to agitate Sasuke further, judging from the deepening scowl smeared across his face. "I can't wait until your unconscious," he muttered darkly.

"Yeah, yeah," Naruto grumbled. "Always an asshole." He stepped towards the bed, then awkwardly clambered onto it while extending his arm for slack on the handcuff.

Sasuke, glowering, followed reluctantly. As Naruto kicked back neatly tucked in covers and wiggled under them, Sasuke settled his back against the headboard. He sat there with his legs crossed at the ankles and his hands woven together on his stomach.

Naruto shot him an incredulous look from his comfortable position, then rolled his eyes. Sasuke didn't look like he was preparing for sleep at all, but instead looked like he was posting up like a guard on night watch. He turned his head away from the other ninja, focusing on the blank hotel wall. Closing his eyes, he tried to even out his breaths and force sleep. It came easier than he thought.

.

.

.

* * *

.

.

.

Naruto was awoken by someone punching him repeatedly in the ribcage. Naturally, being woken in such a way is unpleasant. He returned to the world of the living with all the grace of a bear emerging out of hibernation, lurching upwards then sideways while simultaneously emitting a slur of curses. The sideways part of his flailing dumped him into empty space, which was quickly filled by the rock-hard floor. Seconds later, a heavy weight thudded on top of him, and Naruto opened his eyes to see the fiercely narrowed ones of Sasuke's.

For a second Naruto had absolutely nothing to say. Then, "Well that was _almost_ the worst way I've ever been woken up."

Sasuke glared, then hefted himself off Naruto angrily. "You have to be the most moronic person I've ever met." Once standing, he hauled Naruto off the ground by brutally yanking on the handcuff.

Naruto lurched to his feet unsteadily, then rubbed the base of his spine with a wince. He had just fallen off the bed and dragged Sasuke down with him, and Sasuke was no light-weight with all that muscle. "Oww, damn." He pointed suddenly at Sasuke, "You! Never again. Wake me up like that again, and--- seriously! What's your problem?"

"I've been trying to wake you up for the past ten minutes," he stated simply in reply, sounding completely justified in punching people out of their pleasant sleep.

"Apparently they didn't have alarm clocks at Orochimaru's," Naruto muttered. "I don't even want to know what would happen if you tried to 'snooze'. It probably involved snakes."

Sasuke ignored him, instead reaching over to toss Naruto his jacket and shirt. "Get dressed. We're getting out of here today."

Naruto caught his clothes, a grin quickly growing on his face. "You have a plan?"

"Hardly. But it's the only thought keeping me sane at the moment."

"Awesome, just awesome," Naruto grumbled in reply. He then took that moment to assess his clothes. One side of his shirt and jacket were completely torn off due to it being hard to manage sleeves when you have a handcuff on, and his heart hurt a little to see the jacket he and Pervy-sage had gotten in such shams.

Sasuke's haori was in equal bad shape after hacking the material with a kunai, but he didn't seem to mind in the least as he shrugged it on. Naruto followed his lead, and couldn't help a small chuckle at the completed image of disarray they both made. There was no way they could blend in outside in that place, with its bright lights and strange fashion. They were torn and bloodied, and completely alien in that even more alien world. He felt another pang deep in his chest, feeling homesick.

"So where do we start?" Naruto asked as they began walking to the door.

Sasuke was silent as he turned the door handle and stepped out into the hallway, closing the door behind Naruto. "The beginning," he finally said.

Naruto furrowed his brow in confusion. "The beginning? Ah, you don't mean... the dump?!"

"Obviously," Sasuke said flatly.

"I guess," Naruto grumbled. "I'm not exactly excited to visit that shit hole again, though."

They entered the stairwell and started padding down the paint-chipped stairs, their feet echoing with quiet shuffling sounds.

They didn't talk anymore as they went, the chain between them was the only sound as it chimed softly with their motions. Both were preparing silently for what awaited them outside the swinging glass doors to the hotel, for what the daylight would expose. Or so Naruto guessed. Sasuke could've been thinking about assassination or the "Macarena".

They crossed the lobby with the large wooden desk and towards the door. Several people in strange clothing reclined on the patterned furniture arranged on the far side of the room, and many cast the two ninja alarmed and guarded looks. Naruto kept his eyes on the floor or else he would exchange the same look, except probably with a twist of horror in his expression.

He was not excited to immerse himself outside again into that sensory-overload of a place. Just the hurried walk to the inn on the edge of town was overwhelming, and it had been in the middle of the night. There was too many machines, rumbling, screeching, and pouring out harsh smells, too many lights blazing and distracting...

Sasuke pushed open the glass door. Instantly, sound enveloped them.

Naruto's mouth gaped a bit as Sasuke lead him out in front of the inn, and he watched in amazement at what the light of day revealed. People, clashing in their colors and styles, walked swiftly and with purpose, darting out in front of the noxious machines snarling on the road. The stone paths and walls of the town were... dirty. The alien trash from the dump was swept up against the walls, fluttering in the breeze, flattened on the road.

The people walked briskly by the two ninja, hardly sparing them a second glance except to flick a disturbed look down at the handcuff extended between them before continuing on their way. It was strange. Naruto had been expecting to be questioned, glared at, _something._ This eerie ignorance of their presence was probably more disturbing than being confronted. He had to wonder if something was wrong with them. In Konoha, two strange tattered ninjas on the streets would raise suspicion, or concern. Here, it was like they just didn't care.

"Stop standing there like an idiot," Sasuke snapped, bringing him back to earth. "Let's go."

"Y-yeah," he replied.

They began walking stiffly through the crowds, Sasuke with his aloof expression, and Naruto with his eyes flicking every which way.

"Oi, Sasuke," Naruto said quietly, edging deftly around a woman talking rapidly into a device held to her ear. "Isn't this weird? No one is really re-acting to us. Maybe we were wrong, and there are ninjas here?"

"No, they are," Sasuke replied lowly. "Just subtly. They're the kind of people that ignore eye-sores. You can tell just from the surroundings."

"The surroundings?"

"The trash. The filth of this place. The way they live with it is they ignore it."

"You're just assuming," Naruto said, but the words made sense. They stopped with the procession of people on the sidewalks, waiting for the blinking sign over the road to change. Naruto avoided eye contact with the people around them, instead taking the chance to see how Sasuke was faring.

He looked completely unaffected, his black eyes as unresponsive to his surroundings as a dark pane of glass. His body language translated the same message, seeming to say: "Hey, I'm completely normal, someone just fucked with my clothes." As usual, Sasuke was too goddamn cool. It couldn't be healthy.

Naruto, on the other hand, was sure he was just emanating stress and waves of uncool in every direction. He was once again glad that the inn wasn't very far into town, and soon they would be able to peel themselves out of this crowd of people, even if it was to go into a dump.

The light changed, and the crowd scuttled forward again with the two ninjas immersed in their depths.

As they continued their walk much further towards the edge of town though, Naruto began to notice the people thinning out. The sidewalks had cleared enough that it was mostly empty besides a few fast-walking people chattering rapidly into the devices tucked against their ears. They passed quickly, usually with a nervous glance out of the corner of their eye, but continued on their way with the hectic pace most of the people in the village seemed to be possessed by.

The buildings became dingier, with more space between them for dark, littered alleyways, and the people were fewer and growing more dingy with the decline of their surroundings. Though the emptier streets were more ominous, the edge of town was clearly in view and much further out was the faint speck of the dump with its tall fence.

Naruto let out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. "We're almost out of this alien village," he commented, his steps becoming lighter.

"We'll just have to go back eventually," Sasuke grumbled, his mood as dark as ever.

"No shit, captain asshole. I'm just saying. Anyways, isn't the whole point of visiting the dump to get out of here?"

"You really think it's going to be that easy? We're looking for clues, Naruto. Not a magical door."

"Aww, no magical door?" Naruto fake whined, tossing a sarcastic look at Sasuke. "Fuck you."

The dark haired ninja's gaze sizzled with its irritation. "Whatever. At least I wasn't shaking with terror in that crowd of people."

"There was no shaking or terror!" Naruto hollered defensively. "So just shut up!"

"You still think they're aliens," Sasuke accused.

"_You're_ an alien," Naruto muttered back childishly. "An alien asshole from fuck-space."

"I won't dignify that with an answer," was the curt reply.

Naruto opened his mouth to retort with some more well-versed and colorful insults, but was cut short by a sharp yelp in the alleyway ahead of them. The blonde ninja frowned and turned to Sasuke, the mocking tone gone as he asked, "Did you hear that?"

"No."

"Really? I swear..." The sound erupted again from the darkness of the alley ahead, this time noticeably louder. "There! It sounds like a person!"

"How unnecessary," Sasuke replied darkly, his face emotionless.

"Unnecessary?" Blue eyes narrowed.

"._..No...pl... stop...!_"

Sandaled feet sped up, making scuffing sounds as the Naruto picked up the pace, dragging Sasuke behind him. "Someone's definitely in trouble," he said, his tone taking on the determined notes it always did before he made a hard-headed decision. "Let's g--"

He jerked to a stop abruptly, and turned in confusion to see Sasuke standing rigidly in place, his posture stiff with stubbornness. Frustration and urgency glinted in Naruto's eyes as he glared ferociously at the other ninja.

"What are you doing, teme?" Naruto snapped, pulling on the handcuff. "Someone's obviously in trouble--"

"It's not our problem," Sasuke interrupted. "Don't involve yourself in something troublesome. We have somewhere to go."

"Yeah _the dump_. It's not going to go anywhere," Naruto growled, tugging at the handcuff again. "Let's go!"

"No."

"You're joking."

Sasuke would have crossed his arms if one of them wasn't being tugged by an insistent blonde. "No."

Several emotions washed over the other's whiskered face as he stared incredulously at his rival and supposed best friend. Understanding swept across his expression first, then fury boiled up with a white hot churning. "Who the fuck_ are_ you?"

Sasuke's eyes widened a slight fraction at the thick disgust in the tone from the usually sun-shiny blonde, but they narrowed almost immediately, disguising the flicker of shock. For a moment, he was taken aback by the violent switch in attitudes. One second the other ninja had been jokingly arguing, but now after one faceless cry for help he was all claws and fierce emotions. But then again, that had always been Naruto. He had just forgotten.

A hand fisted roughly on the collar of his tattered haori, and he found Naruto's angry face very near his, the blue eyes twin flames burning with ocean-bright brilliance. "I don't know who you are, I'll admit," Naruto said, his voice strong and filled with that determined tone, "but I know who you _were_, and that person wouldn't have turned their back on someone calling for help."

Sasuke pulled off the hands clutched on the fabric by his neck roughly, eyes burning with equal dark waves of anger. "Keep your prattling speeches to yourself, Naruto. Those heart strings you're trying to pull were cut years ago. It won't work."

Another distressed cry floated from the alley, and Naruto flinched as if he was being physically torn. Cerulean eyes darkened, turned calculating, then deepened with understanding. He then turned without saying another word, and lunged with all his strength in the direction of the alley.

Surprised, and not completely expecting Naruto to leap at that exact moment, Sasuke was ripped forward off his feet and was dragged the last couple of feet to the lip of the alley. "Naruto you fuck--" The dark haired ninja quieted as he took in the cruel scene in the filthy cement hallway before him.

Two men, fairly large and muscled, had managed to pin a middle-aged woman to the wall with an arm twisted behind her back. One was holding her purse and rifling through it greedily, and the other man had a hand clapped over her mouth while he tugged at the waist of her skirt. Tears had made jagged black lightening bolts of mascara run down her face, and she still struggled even though the pain of her twisted arm caused her to make muffled cries of pain around the hand silencing her.

"Yo," Naruto said, and the men looked up in surprise.

"The hell?" The man holding the purse said, looking at the two ninjas suddenly standing in the alley. "Who the fuck are you assholes? Get lost on the way to your Halloween party?"

"That's a lot of questions," the blonde haired ninja noted, his entire body bristled with anger, "I'll answer one for every bone I break." Sasuke cast Naruto a slightly surprised look. Well, his banter had improved, if only slightly. At least he wasn't screaming.

"Ha! You hear this kid, man?" The man said, his voice thick with amusement as he turned to the other who was holding the woman captive.

"Ah," the other responded, his voice a sharp rasp. Beady eyes flicked between Sasuke and Naruto, calculating. "You boys should leave now, this is a game you don't want to play." His partner beside him flicked a knife out of his sleeve. "Keep walking."

"But I love to play," Naruto grinned darkly. "Especially with useless scum like you." He took a threatening step forward. "Sasuke, I know you were opposed to this for some dumb shit reason, but can you honestly just let these assholes have their way?"

Sasuke was silent, then he sighed. "It's not like I have a choice now, we're involved."

The purse in the man's hand dropped with a thud to the ground, and he wiped his mouth with his sleeve while sneering. "What kind of weird fucks are you? Think you're heroes? Listen to him," he jerked a thumb at the man holding the woman, "keep walking, boys."

"That may be what everyone else does," Naruto said, his voice rough with anger, "but I'm not going to turn my back, not on _anyone_."

Beside him, almost invisibly, Sasuke rolled his eyes. _Gallant speech #15, coming up. _

"That's a good way to get yourself killed," the raspy-voiced man commented, his eyes glinting dangerously.

"No, it's a good way to live," Naruto corrected. "Enough talk, Sasuke, are you helping or not?"

"Hmm."

"I'll take that as a 'hell yes'. Let's get the guy with the knife first," he said, and slipped liquidly into a fighting crouch. "Now."

It only took a second really, the men hardly knew what hit them. In a blur of motion, the two ninjas flicked forward simultaneously, then appeared next to the man holding the knife. With a swift hit to his pressure points, he collapsed with a heavy _thud_ to the cement. The knife skittered across the pavement, spinning with glints of steel menace, now useless. Then, before the man on the ground had completely faded from consciousness, Naruto disabled the man with the captive and Sasuke had a sandaled foot on his throat, pinning him to the ground.

Both ninjas now stared down at the man squirming under Sasuke's foot, his eyes wide and his face slowly deepening into a purple-magenta color. "_H-h-_how_? S-_so_ f-f-fast_," the man croaked, his breath wheezing out from the pressure on his windpipe.

"Because you're weak." It was Sasuke who spoke unexpectedly, his voice cold as it rained down mercilessly on the man's ears. "Pityingly weak and helpless."

Naruto, silhouetted beside him, heard the darkness inside Sasuke speaking loud and clear in that moment, like razor blades were in the words stabbing into the incapacitated man. He cast a worried look over at his friend, feeling a wrenching sickness flutter through his belly. Who was Sasuke, really? He had kept his faith in him, all these years, had wanted to save him... but he couldn't be too late, could he? He couldn't have actually become a _monster_...

"That's enough," Naruto whispered as the man finally gurgled and passed out. Sasuke removed his foot, his eyes infinitely dark.

"O-oh my god, t-thank you!" A voice erupted from behind the two ninjas, and they turned to see the woman leaning weakly against the filthy alley wall with her hand clutching her chest.

"No problem," Naruto called, his thoughtful moment passing in exchange for a wide good-guy grin. He stooped to pick up her purse and walked it over to where she was standing unsteadily against the wall. She took it from him, still shaking slightly, then straightened and ran trembling fingers through her hair.

"R-really, thank you _so_ much," she repeated, her eyes wide and sparkling through her ruined make-up.

Naruto, still grinning, scratched the back of his head awkwardly because of her intense gratitude. "Really, it was nothing," he laughed. "I'm just glad you're alright. I'm Uzumaki Naruto by the way." He thrust out a tanned hand which she shook warmly.

"So nice to meet you, I'm just Larisa, no need to be formal." She laughed. "And who is my other rescuer?" She switched her gaze to Sasuke, who was staring stonily at the wall with fixed determination not to be involved.

"That asshole is Uchiha Sasuke," Naruto answered, poking a thumb sideways to indicate the cold bastard. "He has a speech impediment so he doesn't talk much. Something about when he was a baby and he got dropped..." He trailed off, shrugging his shoulders.

"Shut up," was the expected response from the other ninja.

Larisa looked between the two of them with a smile that said she didn't quite get it. "Um, great, nice to meet you too."

Now that she wasn't being held captive and he could clearly see her, Naruto had to admit she was a pretty good-looking lady. She was about the same age as Kakashi-sensei, with dark waves of hair that fell just barely to her shoulders and soft doe eyes centered in a smooth oval face. She looked out of place in the edge of town, and Naruto had to guess that was why she was attacked.

"So how can I ever thank the two of you?" She inquired, looking between the two of them with a gracious smile still on her face.

"Oh, no, no," Naruto said, waving his hand as if to dismiss the idea. "We don't want any kind of reward."

"No, please I insist. I could treat you both to lunch," she pressed. "It's just food, I'll be hurt if you decline, really."

Naruto, who was about to protest again, was stopped by the sudden snarl of his stomach. He blinked, remembering he hadn't eaten anything since they came to this place, then laughed. "Heh, guess my belly agrees. Fine, we'll accept."

Sasuke's head snapped over, looking incredulous. "Naruto."

"What? How else will we eat today? Just shut up," he hissed back, throwing a "Can you believe this guy?" look over to the woman.

Larisa smiled warmly, her gratitude once again lighting up her face. "Great, great! We can meet at wherever you want, my treat. I'll have to freshen up first though, these alley muggings are never good for your complexion," she joked, though she still looked unsettled.

"Awesome, that gives us time to go by the dum--" Sasuke's elbow jammed into his ribs, and Naruto sucked in a breath painfully, "--dumpling store? Yeah, we really have a thing for those, er, dumplings."

"Dumplings?" Larisa questioned, one eyebrow raising.

"Yes, dumplings," Sasuke said flatly from beside the blonde ninja who was stammering with his awkwardness at lying. Naruto, after hearing Sasuke say the word "dumplings", was suddenly seized with the horrendous urge to laugh.

"Okay, well where would you like to meet?" She asked with a "moving right along, now" tone.

With a straight face, Naruto offered to meet outside of the inn they were staying at in an hour, and she agreed amiably. They all walked out of the alley (mostly by the urging of Naruto who very much wanted to get rid of her so he could laugh openly about the dumplings), and with a parting wave the lady was gone, her purse rightfully by her side.

Naruto stood, watching her go with his arms crossed and a small smile on his face. "Don't you feel even the least bit accomplished, Sasuke-teme? That lady got to walk away unhurt because we decided to take action."

"Hmm," was the annoyed response, but as usual Naruto translated it into a known language that went somewhere along the lines of grudging agreement.

"That's why I want to be Hokage, I'll take care of everyone in the village," he continued, very unnecessarily in Sasuke's opinion.

"If everyone on this planet didn't know you wanted to be Hokage, I would be shocked," Sasuke said sarcastically. "Don't you ever think of anything else?"

"Sure," he said, unfazed. "There's ramen to think about, and my friends. Oh, and this asshole that ran away from home to join the fucking dark side. Gotta drag him home at some point."

"I'm sure that 'asshole' would like to be left alone to live his own fucking life," Sasuke growled.

"Nah, he just needs a push in the right direction," Naruto said nonchalantly. "But of course, you have no idea who this guy is, so don't butt in, Sasuke," he joked.

"Whatever."

"So shall we get dumplings, teme?" He laughed, his whiskers curving with his smile. "We only have an hour."

"You're an idiot," Sasuke stated, as if it were a documented fact. He began walking in the direction they had been heading though, before the unplanned act of heroism. Naruto trotted to catch up, then kept pace beside him as they continued to the dump.

Hopefully, within an hour, they could find a magical door.

.

.

.

.

A/N: I apologize for this taking so long! Besides dealing with my stubborn muse and it's penchant to run off and go drinking (then pass out and not return for several weeks), there's graduation coming up and speeding tickets to deal with... whoo! Hopefully making this a longer chapter will make it worth the wait? I really do appreciate your reading and reviewing of this story, it's what helps me kick out these chapters :] If you could give me a handful, or even a bucketful or your thoughts through a review that would be awesome, it's nice to know what you think, or even if you think I'm just sneezing this all out. (Which would actually be kind of awesome... "AH-CHOO! Oh hey, would you look at that? It's sasunaru." Hehe, 3 M&S


End file.
